bird,
Wanted to also tell you that besides all of the above, don't think that if you do not show your anger, hurt, disappointment, or any other feelings that things will be ok, they won't be.
My ex had threatened to divorce me because I got a fish sandwich once, another time because I washed the kitchen floor, because I loved that floor more then I loved him.
None of this has anything to do with you. With my ex, he was a very angry person, didn't show it to other people, just me. So if something was bothering him, I could be the nicest and sweetest to him, and he would find something to attack me for, and if I tried to explain to him that I wasn't doing or saying what he thought I was, that just made him angrier. He would tell me that I was invalidating his feelings, so why should he listen to my feelings. Guess his trips to therapist and psychologist paid off for him!!!!!!
((((((((((more hugs)))))))))and hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.