Wow!! That must have really made you angry. I can tell you, sadly we have broken up 2 times although my not talking to him and abandoning him as he calls it constitutes so many breakups over the last three years- he loves to tell me that in a disgusted arrogant voice.
I left him twice, so this would be our third if we do again. winning # I guess. Mine came back the same, begging crying the first time, the second he had the pitty party of his enabling group backing him so he was arrogant after we got back together and reminded me that he never agreed to stop drinking, I rebuttled: and I never agreed to be abused. case closed.
This morning I experienced something very similiar to what you just described: I have barely seen him in november, 3x due to his avoidance of us and my reluctance to push him. Obviously he came to the table sunday, tail between the legs, wanting to talk now. I was very nice and explained that he seems to have peaks ( the real him) and valleys (the drunk binging monster) that can last for weeks or months. It hurts us. It deeply has affected my feelings, recently as we have not even seen each other and I am having a difficult time keeping that " in love" feeling while he has gone missing for a month binging. Literally a month. He was teary eyed. hugged me and thanked me for being so relaxed about that talk. ( I always am. what BS.) The next day I did not feel like going to dinner or spending the night with him b/c I am bitter and resentful that he never even apologized for the way he handled things. No thought at all for what it was like for me. I didn't fight with him, just said: I just am having trouble with my feelings. You have just been gone a long time. He was a little frustrated and sarcastic. I went home feeling a little guilty, because it was the night before I left for this thanksgiving. So in the morning he did wish me a happy holiday as I was packing today, and I responded: thank you
Would you like to grab food before I leave? Thinking that he would be happy to after sending me a message, and wanting to spend time with me the night before. Do you know what he replied:
" OH. So all the sudden we are aloud to hangout again now? " And proceeded to fight with me and show his butt. I just was flabbergasted. It really is the winning for them. I realized that next time I am in this situation and he feels the need to be arrogant, I will simply just say: I have to go. Or not respond to the text... because I do not need to be sucked into the badgering and arguing and abuse just because he is " having a moment " that will leave me feeling horrible and crying, and he would have already moved on to another mood 1 hour later. It is crazy town and not even worth the energy. Im learning.