I totally relate to your post.
Welcome to the site.
There was a long time that alcohol and drugs worked for me. Like you say, it helps offset things.
But there are also problems that come with it, and it's harder and harder to quit.
Once it's not working as well as it once did, but you still cannot quit, is a really ****** place to be. It is the proverbial rock and a hard place.
There's no fancy way or trick to the quitting part, really. You just have to quit.
In my case, it was when the consequences of continuing far outweighed the benefits, and had for a long time.
We've all been there, to some extent. We're here to walk you through the sobriety part.