back Alphabet.
Never make your sobriety contingent upon someone else's. When it comes to his alcoholism
you did not cause it
you cannot control it
you cannot cure it.
What you can do is take care of your own addiction. Putting your foot down with him and focusing on HIS lack of sobriety will only deflect from addressing your own issues.
If you cannot detach and the temptation to drink with him around is too much, you might want to consider a temporary separation at least until you feel stronger.
The only person we can change is ourselves and if we commit to our own recovery we can become and stay sober whether our loved ones are still drinking/using or not.
I am a double winner too and I know it is tough but it can be done. Check out the Friends and Family forum there are a lot of double winners there too.