Good thread.
Once again I overlooked the religious overtones, and they are strong here in the Deep South. I did go to AA and Alanon and overcame the religion part. I am not angry, my point was that if they had to attend with prayer rugs and say Allah instead of God, the Christian religion types would run screaming. Hostile would not cover their reaction. I am not Islaamic either. I was enabled to get sober when I asked for outside help. I could no more understand that which is, let alone have the hubris to name that which is. Thus my private spiritual life does not desire fellowship from other people to be real for me.
But AA and later Alanon had much I needed and took. No, I did not do the steps in either, and left both once I was steady and ready to make it on my own. About three months each. But like religion, many need it as a long term lifestyle. I applaud that AA can work short term or long term for me. For another the same. Believe me if I could not make it without the steps and daily meetings I would surely be there. If it works do it. Alanon was a lifeline for me. My awareness and avoidance of co dependence began in the 80s with this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No.../dp/B00BS027FC
What I am saying is that I was able to overcome the non secular aspects and get emergent help I needed in crisis from Alanon because I was desperate at the time. Regardless of your path, it is time to stop getting ready and start getting to it.
I am not an angry type. I live and let live. I moved away from religions as an intellectual decision from my heart leading me to peace and love without the preachers and priests. I just realized that religion is hereditary, we get it from our parents, and many never question it, let alone read all the great works to see that they all pretty much say the same thing.
Whether one believes or not in a Christian God, one must believe they are willing to do whatever it takes to get help, whether that means holding hands and saying "their" prayer, working steps and realizing that whatever else, the universe is real, and enthralls our souls with the adventures humanity faces as we discover the mechanics of reality and life both as we know it, and perhaps different too.
In Alanon we work on our mundane problems and overcome them with steps and help from our group in understanding the dynamics of our relationships by first understanding ourselves, and that we can't control another. But we have unlimited opportunity for changing our own ways and means to regain our self respect. Then we earn the respect of others.