Hi Jarp, I am an agnostic, an atheist, have a mindfulness practice based on the Shin school of Pure Land Buddhism. I have also attended AlAnon for almost 3 years. I have also dabbled in Zen and Taoism.
My higher power is " I Don't Know". It can be lots of things, it might not exist, it can't be defined and as long it is not my ego it works quite well. In some Buddhist schools they refer to the ego as the monkey mind. It is loud, constantly chattering, ruled by its emotions and easily distracted.
Look!, something shiny. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, if you look at evolution we have able to function quite well before the part of the brain for language skills evolved and decided it was in charge. What my practice does is allow me to tap into those other ways of thinking and calm the monkey mind as well as make decisions based on my instincts and intuition.
One of the coolist quotes I heard was from a scientist who explained that the solar system and all the stars we can see are built from the remains of first generation stars. What he said was I am part of the universe and the universe is part me. Very cool.
So yeah there AlAnon groups the are more religious and groups that are less religious. Remember as well there are no requirements in AlAnon to do the steps or get a sponsor. I primarily use it as group therapy, a place to get a reality check and a sanctuary where I know that I am being heard by people who understand what I'm going through and that I'll never have my words thrown back in my face.
Sorry my share was kind of rambling but I wanted to get all these different and sometimes contradictory thoughts written down before I was distracted and forgot.
Your friend,