Welcome to SR
I went to a NA meeting last night, met some great people who bought a Basic Text book for me, reached out and called one of the ladies today, read the first chapter and then all of a sudden...I'm on the phone scoring again!! What's wrong with me?
Nothings wrong with you - nothing that the rest of us haven't experienced too.
It's hard to change, especially in the beginning - most of us find we might stumble a time or two.
It's important not to give up tho - and you're not alone here - there's tons of support.
D