EveningRose

I, too, am at a loss as to how this seems to work for some people and not others. What I have to be content with is being glad that I'm not the one doing harm. I will never have to look back with shame or regret on my own behavior, as I have striven from a young age to grow, improve, to do right, to treat others well.

I will say, I spent years in my church--where my other also goes--thinking all the older women must be looking down on me and whispering every time my kids acted up or put a toe out of line (particularly trying, as I have not one, but two, boys with ADHD and on the autism spectrum). Over the years, I have come to realize that, regardless of my mother being there for 35 years, she does not necessarily command such respect. One of my friends, one of these older women who has known my mother for decades, told me at one of the women's gatherings, a whole bunch of them were so relieved to find they weren't at a table with my mother (because she NEVER stops talking.)

So, things might not be quite what you think. I do know a woman at the bank thinks my mom is just the bees knees, but really, it's easy to put on a show for the three minutes you're in line. Who cares what this woman thinks? Those who matter may see the truth more than you realize.