Originally Posted by
lsb 
i feel like no ones cares. all anyone cares about is themselves.
True. It's part of human evolution. Survival of the fittest and all that. We're all born with a hard-wired natural self interest and an instinct for survival. Through our experiences, we learn to either fear or be curious about novelty, like the novelty of meeting someone new. But our biology most often keeps us suspicious and closed so as not to get hurt.
The industrial revolution and all its inherent social problems, mainly human greed, made things worse for most people. Whereas before, people "kept to themselves"...their families and a few other people who were needed to survive...the IR threw people together who would otherwise have no contact with each other.
And then, of course, came the technological revolution, where people can hurt each other anonymously and from a distance. But that's a whole 'nother thing.
Altruism is also part of human evolution too. Helping someone else with no expectations of getting anything in return. AA is built upon the ideal of altruism, though it explicitly tells us that, by helping others generally, and by helping other alcoholics to achieve sobriety, we strengthen our own sobriety and live a better life as a result. Works for me.
Some will disagree, but I believe that we're at our very best when we're helping other people who need help and who can put that help to good use. When we're wasting time helping someone who takes our help for granted or who only uses our help to gain an advantage over others, we have less time to help people who need our help in order to live a better life. To ease the suffering of another is quite a feat, and one that brings meaning to our lives.
You're worth much more than you know, lbs, but you so far haven't managed to find a way to do things that allow you to know this. For people with social anxiety, volunteering, helping others in need, relieving suffering...these are all things that help to bring us out of ourselves, acquire a true sense of achievement and make sense of what often seems like a meaningless life.
We're at a social advantage when people ask us for help, and the very act of helping reliably brings us to a better place. And people who are suffering, who need our help, who need care and concern...the teach us how to help ourselves.
Random acts of kindness are fine, but when you're giving yourself to another human being, make sure you're satisfied that they deserve your care. There's nothing better.