Hi Jazz, so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I often feel much the same - and as Doggone observed, the 'trips down misery lane' can also be a trip back to alcohol. That's how I've experienced it, anyway. And once having picked up, and really relapsing for weeks on end, the misery / despair gets worse and worse.
No one here wants that for you. I suspect you don't want that either. Hence your post. Even the fact THAT you posted about this shows to me at least, that there IS still an ember of caring for yourself. That's hope, believe it or not.
Your use of the word 'make [yourself care....]' is instructive, I feel. To me, it smacks of our Western modern need to FIX, DO, ACT, etc. and we're all caught up in that.
If you'll allow me: I'm finding that this time around - day 11 after nearly a full year of multiple long-ish relapses - I'm 'doing' just small 'actions' each hour of each day with a view to accepting the simplicity of Be-ing. A bit like tickling a fish (not that I've fished much, but you take my point I think) - or if you will, just very gently and non-judgementally blowing on those tiny embers of hope and caring.
Go easy on the 'making yourself'. Simply having acknowledged, and writing about, this not-caring is a path towards bringing those embers back to life.
Hope this adds to all that the others have offered to you from their own reflections. Our gifts to you until you can give them to yourself....
Blessings