When I quit I knew I was done with it, alcohol had stopped working for me. After over 3 decades of drinking I could not take the withdrawals any more, anxiety and depression were now part of the mix so it was either die drunk or quit.
The quitting part was a no brainer, the learning to live life with no crutches was another story. I had way under estimated just how big a part of my life alcohol had become. I know it sounds crazy but giving up the addiction was like giving up a part of my life.
I had come to use alcohol to change the way I felt, instant gratification. When I felt lousy without any crutch to fall back on I came to realize what depression was all about. The whole first year was kind of rough going, it did get better from there on but it took its good old time. I'm now past year 5 and glad I closed the book on that nightmare!