Pleased to meet you JustOne. I was the same sort of drinker, and I relate.
I could never imagine my life without alcohol. It had once been so much fun & a nice break from reality - but over the years I became dependent on it. In the end I was drinking all day. The euphoria I once felt after having a few was gone. My life revolved around it and I was tired of being numb & foggy. I wish I hadn't wasted so many years insisting I could use willpower to be a social drinker. It never worked for me. I'm glad you joined us! You are not alone.