Have to agree with LifeRecovery here.
This is one of those inside job times.
Sorry you are feeling lonely and out of sorts.
Hope you make/take the time for yourself.
Are you sure you are not seeking something more out of the need for a male companion?
Without a doubt, all the extra baggage you are currently carrying around is not something you want to take with you in a new relationship/friendship.
I see this as MTslideaddict's time to reconnect with herself.
It will get easier, sometimes we just have to give time, some time, ((( hugs)))