Yes I have been to al- anon for 2 years. My therapist said most of the time when people finally get sober, all this baloney stops and they are not as unwilling. It is literal brain damage from alcoholism.
Either way, I don't really care b/c all that matters is the present, and what I have to live with.. right now. He sent my dad a text about how I have tried to change him, and how he spends 90% of the time trying to figure out what went wrong. and he can never keep me happy. I never share him with his friends. It went on and on.
That just enraged me. I honestly want his liver to fail, and I just want everyone in his life to see what a lying, back stabbing, drunk he has been for 3 years. What the face of alcoholism really looks like- their nice perfect buddy such a mess inside.
I don't know sober if he would ever be able to sit down, and validate someone else's feelings. ever. I am just so angry at what he told my parents I want to never speak to him again.
obviously I am going to take NO action on these feelings, and just calm down. right now I am able to see that I am too angry to do any good for anyone. I just feel extremely manipulated. and controlled. Makes me want to just cheat all over town on this guy. I guess that is why in aa they say : we have driven our wives into the arms of other men.
I have absolutely NO interest in trying to chase after HIM to work this out. He has made me look to my own parents, and to our friends like I am trying to " control his life " ….. and he is Joe Cool… trying to escape his tyrant girlfriend who brings out " the worst in him. " It couldn't be the alcohol doing that? the other 99% of the time. I am just backing off COMPLETELY almost to complete absence in his life at this point, and I will let him figure out what he thinks is best if he wants me around b/c this is not going to work this way and i won't feed into looking crazy.