Booo

Yes I have been through this. He was not an alcoholic, but he was a narcissist and every little thing I needed, wanted or asked for was greeted with a "you are trying to change me", "let me be me"
He went so far as to make a big banner for my office which said that exact thing. A BANNER..can you imagine? Big letters "let me be me" hanging on MY WALL?

When my reaction, like yours, was then to go do something for me, I was tailed, I was called constantly,i was given the third degree when I got home but when HE did it, which was at least four nights a week (we were on opposite work schedules)he was just being "him". It was fruitless.

I would never say this to a friend who was sitting next to me, but I can say it to you.

ditch him.

Cut your losses now. I wasted over three years with this man because his overtures of romance and big things that cost big money were overwhelming. I was addicted to the high of those things. Thru therapy my therapist also saw both of us couples counseling and. My shrink said "sometimes you can't blame anyone, you're just different and have to let go of each other". But I spent another year trying to prove my ex was WRONG..he was just wrong..and I still think he was, but I lost too many nights over it and it was the hardest break up of my life, despite how awful thenrelationship was. i felt a failure.
...it took six long hard horrible months for me to get out of the house and on WitH my life. I was shattered. But life was so much better when I came out on the other side.
. Seriously, dump this one.