Sounds like you have been figuring it out.
You can't have a relationship beyond the physical if the other person won't share or connect with you in a meaningful way.
If it were me, I think I would take him up on the (insert threat) and walk.
Everybody deserves respect and to have their feelings validated.
Treat yourself as you would treat others, don't you think?
Good luck and I'm sorry that you have been going through such a tough time.