Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
Any self-destructiveness was a result of the addiction, not the cause.
That was definitely the case for me. People would ask, "Why do you want to ruin your life?"
I didn't want to ruin my life. I wanted to get drunk.
Getting drunk was ruining my life, but the ruination was never my goal.
I don't think I've ever been able to adequately explain that to a non-addict. I believe my wife and parents (not addicts) are still convinced my drinking was caused by self-destruction.
Good luck on your journey!