I started using drugs because I liked the way they made me feel. I wanted to feel good, be happy, and drugs were the acceleration lane to that emotion. Then I got addicted. Any self-destructiveness was a result of the addiction, not the cause.
What I'm saying is this, at some point "why" you used took a back seat to "needing" to use. If you think a lot of self therapy will keep you clean, great. But for now, keep it simple. Don't use, no matter what, and start living the kind of life that support your recovery.
Good luck.