MTSlideAddict

Since I have been separated from my husband I struggle with feelings of loneliness. I am not really sure how to fill this void without having someone to help fill it. I mean loneliness is a lack of connection with another. I reach out to the social networking sites I belong to to help locate people I can relate with. I have searched and continue to search the Al-Anon meetings in hope of finding a group of friends. I am not having much luck. First off I am shy. Second, the Al-Anon meetings I attend either have people that are much older than me, or they have people I don’t find that I could connect with friendship wise. I am continuing to search.

I told my therapist that I am lonely and want to connect with people. She advised me to find local meet up groups, search in Al-Anon, or just find organizations of my interests. That is all good advice, but the time I feel loneliest is at night. I also do not have time to attend many of these meet-ups. Not to mention I work on Saturdays, which happen to be when everything gets scheduled for. I would very much like a connection to someone of the opposite sex to talk to. My seeking of the opposite sex is not to find and jump into a new relationship; I am in no way wanting that. I think I am looking for that companionship that you can only find with someone that you share an emotional connection with. My therapist advices against that, but what the heck is wrong with it? She states that I am too vulnerable, and is worried that I’d fall into a cycle again. Okay I get that, but what if I want a friend (maybe with benefits) that I can share some emotional intimacy with? Do I just not know how to be alone? My HP knows I haven’t had an emotional connection with anyone including my AH in a long time. Is it too risky?

I had a connection with someone from my past for about a week. It just ended a few days ago. I’m not going to lie; I am sad for the loss. Him and I met again on Facebook. He was a boyfriend from childhood; from seventh grade actually. He joined Facebook after a recent break-up with a five year relationship. We began chatting. I know we were both emotional and vulnerable, but it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. We chatted through Facebook everyday all day. We sent silly duck-face photos, and discussed our pasts. We told each other the pain we were going through. We also shared many of the same likes and dislikes. That part was crazy. He was previously married to an Alcoholic. Apparently we lived five minutes away without knowing it for years. He moved into an apartment complex after he left located in a nearby city that I have visited and wanted to move into once I had the funds. We are both incredible geeks. I mean we had a thirty minute debate on which one was better- vampires or werewolves. Who does that? One day he cooked me dinner and we watched Superman. It was a great time. However, one day he stopped chatting. Yesterday he deleted his Facebook account again. I can only imagine that he either rekindled with his girlfriend, or was feeling emotionally overwhelmed of some sorts. It’s kind of crazy I never heard back. He just disappeared. I would have understood. This makes me the most sad. Whatever the reasoning he had to just disappear, I am thankful to have shared those times with him.

I really want that kind of connection again. Do you think it’s too risky, or too soon?