I too am a planner and I found for whatever it's worth, that the more I planned the more reasons I found that now wasn't the right time.
Quite unlike me what did finally happen was me making the leave happen as a result of very emotional occurrings.
Im not preaching. Just sharing my experience as others did for me and I referred back to those stories when the time was right for me.
I just know that sometimes in the desire to plan carefully and think it all through we may become (or at least I did) our own worst enemy bc we think so much that we think our way out of taking action.
If that doesn't apply in others cases all the power to you. I just know that DID apply to me. I finally had to just take a leap of faith and do it w no guarantee it would be ok. And I was only able to do that much like an alcoholic getting to sobriety, after I had tried every other possible way around leaving and found all my strategies had failed me and my kids.
Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
Thank you all very much for your input. Yes, I do know it will get worse. Yes, I do fear my kids will become codependent and/or resent me.
I do know it has to change and I will be the one to do that, simply put, I will do it on my timeline when the time is right for me and my children. It takes planning and not doing things because I am an emoational mess.