I didn't and don't have it figured out at all. I'm not strong. I just was fearful of what staying was doing to my kids.
I'm still afraid and still confused and the system doesn't care that he's an A bc he has no arrests for it.
But I fought hard for safety precautions in our parenting plan and it sounds like you could too. You know as we all done just by talking to him if he's been drinking so make that a part of any agreement IF you leave him and he ever drives the kids.
The system won't be the one to protect your kids. You will. A parenting plan will be made by you and you get to dictate what's in it and how to keep your kids safe.