As the old saying goes . . .You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.
I have shared many times my deepest regret is how living 16 plus years with my now ex AH greatly affected our daughters ~ not only HIS behaviors but mine also.
That I am the one that taught my daughters it was ok to accept unacceptable behaviors, to not be treated as an equal by your partner, to be in a relationship that was not mutual beneficial, that your mate doesn't have to be self supporting and help support the household, and that crumbs are ok - we are not deserving of the very best from our partner.
That's just what I taught my daughters in that dysfunctional home ~ not to mention all the things AH & the disease of alcoholism & addiction taught them
Yes the children know what is going on
No you are not hiding it from them
Yes they see the tears, hear the arguments especially the silent ones, the resentment in everyone's voice
No they won't just forget about it
I didn't when my parents did it and neither will my girls
I made my amends verbally & now making my amends in my actions by being a better mother & grandmother. I can't undo those years of pain for them ~ but I can show them how life can be better today.
Thanks WTBH for sharing your e, s, & h ~ wishing you & your girls a better life - One Day at a time.
pink hugs