Dreamcatcher, I am probably not the best one for your support right now, many others here can maybe help you more. But I really do feel for you. The heartbreak is evident in your post. The fallout from the whole thing is enormous--you, him in jail, your marriage, his reputation, job, family...And yes, he may very well be quite devastated whe he sobers up. I can understand how you can feel so badly for him despite it all, and I hope it may sober him up permanently...I don't know. I just wanted to say that I can understand your many emotions and it sounds very lonely, scary and just very, very hard. I really hope you have a support system there (including Al Anon) as well as here. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry.