BBF - I didn't know who the hello I was when I began recovery. I found out that not only was I an addict, but I was a codependent (which let to addiction) and I couldn't even remember what I liked to do or not do.
I convinced myself that I would give myself 6 months, all I had, to recovery. That's when I found out I was definitely a codie (codependent). I clung to posts on here every day. I don't think it was long until I realized I DID have issues, and I needed to deal with them.
I've got near 6 years in recovery, and I found out that not only do I appreciate things I did from decades ago, I appreciate things that I never would have noticed.
I lost my stepmother on Nov. 7th, from an accidental OD. I found her, I tried CPR (former RN who lost that career to addiction), and I couldn't bring her back.
My gift of recovery? Her granddaughter that she and my dad raised (her mom was killed in a car wreck, her dad is an active A) is that she and I have a bond. She is learning that words don't mean nearly as much as actions. She has told her dad "Amy straightened HER life out, what IS your problem?!?!" She recognizes enabling and addiction.
Sorry for the novel, but I can only tell you I didn't know who or what I truly was until I had time in recovery, and I'm very grateful for all that I've learned....mostly from people here
Hugs and prayers,
Amy