I just joined yesterday and have the same story, and the same worries about the future. Right now it's so hard to picture my life without having a drink again, but like the others, I have tried to cut back or slow down, I even stopped for a bit, but I can't drink in moderation. I look for the buzz every time, that was the whole point.
I'm doing this again and trying not to look so far in the future, just going day by day.
I guess it's easier said than done, but try and surround yourself with people who don't drink?! My first night of being sober was a good bye party at MY house, and watching everyone drink made me really angry.......why could they drink and not have a problem like me?
After everyone left, I was proud of myself. Granted I'm only 4 days into sobriety this time around, I decided that I'm going to keep my distance from my friends that revolve their fun around drinking. Plus, I got rid of all the booze in my house. My husband drinks, but won't around me. He's been very supportive. I hope you can find the support you need. So far, this website has given me support, and the ability to interact with people who have gone through the same thing you and I have. I was surprised at all the other moms who drank wine like I did, but who were able to overcome all that!
Best wishes to you! I'm new to this too (only have been sober during pregnancy x2, and a month not too long ago). I'm around if you want to chat