Dealing with the Holidaze
Oh god, the blues are already starting! No!
I got news today that I am hired for a second part-time job in addition to my regular day job (yay!) which I picked up because I am really struggling to make ends meet (no!). I also need something that will help me pay for Christmas for the kids, so this should help. It's a good thing, but goodbye to free time. Free Time, I hardly knew ye.
I also got news today that my family isn't getting together for Thanksgiving or Christmas. The kids will be with their other families and I will be alone on Christmas. I used to do this regularly when DS14 was a baby and it wasn't too bad, but the older I get the harder it gets.
For Thanksgiving, I'm throwing a friends potluck the weekend after. It should be cheap and fun, so Thanksgiving is covered. It gives me something to look forward to.
But I am really struggling to make it through a birthday, Mother's day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., without bursting into tears every day in the weeks leading up to the holiday. Holidays have always been fraught in my FOO and more recently with my STBXAH's shenanigans. I know I post about this around every holiday but I am still really struggling with this. It's just this feeling overwhelming loneliness and sadness. I focus on my kids' experiences and try to make them great, but I am still walking around with a hole in my chest and this maudlin "nobody loves me" feeling.
How do you guys cope?