Originally Posted by
Imabuleva 
The only thing stopping it from being a permanent decision is me. So I guess I'm just gonna have to change that.
I think it is very hard to make a permanent decision, because you are always able to change your mind. In addition to my own fear of commitment (or more optimistically, my desire to keep my options open), I also was confused over what I really wanted.
I found when I set sobriety in terms of a goal, then it became much easier to commit to the action (not drinking) that is required to reach the goal. And, the goal wasn't sobriety or quit drinking, the goal is to avoid the consequences of drinking and return my mind and body to full health.
For me, I couldn't will myself to make a decision anymore than I could will myself to not drink. I needed a goal with clear logical actions that needed to be taken.