Welcome back
If I didn't like/want/desire the feeling of intoxication so much , I could probably moderate/control my intake and keep it at normal/acceptable levels. But then it wouldn't be moderating my intake , it would just be 'normal' drinking. It took my a long time to 'fess up' , not so much in a public sense but more being truly honest with myself and acknowledging how much I liked being intoxicated. The costs for that enjoyment are too high, proportional to the desire. For me I choose to abstain.
Don't Want To Be Drunk, that's how I picked the screenname. I don't want to be drunk, and some times I don't want to want to be drunk. As far as drinking , aside from wanting, I won't.