Originally Posted by
Mirage74 
That's what I'm working on, NW. The more I pull away, the more they try to pull me in. It's like the enjoy the dysfunction. Somehow it benefits them, makes them feel superior at my expense. Thanks a lot family, but no thanks.
Thanks for sharing, NW
This is what happens here. The letter I referred to was yet another attempt to pull me back in.
I imagine some of our very wise members will chime in, but the Scapegoat is a vital part of the family system. If the Screwup Who Causes All the Family Problems isn't there...then what? Who do they blame it on when they still have problems? There's a real danger someone might come to the uncomfortable realization that maybe other people in the family have done a few things that need to be looked at, too. As long as they can keep the focus on the supposed problem child, nothing has to change.
It's a delicate balancing act, and we upset the balance by backing out of our assigned role.