Thanks guys,
He did finally make it up to see the kids. I thought it would be bad but seeing him may have been a good thing. I realize that it is what it is. I will take what I can get from him ie. fixing my truck cuz I am broke and he is a mechanic.
But it finally sank in. I think he likes his life like this. Able to run around and act like he is 26 again. No responsibility no kids no nagging wife.
I talked to him today. I realized that no matter what I may never get the truth. And I will quit trying to change him. I will quit telling him to not hang with that crowd. I will quit.... This is who he is...Period....
I don't know why it has taken me so long for this to sink in....
I will quit trying to change him and move forward....
I suppose even though I realized that even though are relationship was over I still wanted him to help me with the kids. and be a father...
But now I realize that he will probably NEVER be the dad I want him to be....
So I will just take what I can and move on....
it is what it is...