foolsgold66

Well, I kind of had to collect my thoughts on that JD. My last AA meeting was in the neighborhood of 9 years ago, so I'm not actively using AA but I am consciously to an extent and perhaps subconsciously as well using SOME of that program 'material'.

I spent 28 days in rehab, also a long time ago, so the same really goes for that experience, I think of some of the things I learned there actively, and this likely has subconcious affect too.

I read a little SR almost every day and post some, as you know. I see the failures and successes and trials and relapses here. I know there is support here if I need it, and I try to pitch in to help others, albeit selectively.

I'm also personally using positive and negative reinforcement specifically, as in sometimes I visualize the negative consequences of a return to the bottle, and sometimes I reflect on the positive things I'm achieving now and that lie in my sober future.

I've spent some time rereading AA literature and a couple of books about alcoholism.

As to AVRT. I'm a pretty honest person. I lie occasionally, I think everyone does. Mostly they are white lies, I've engaged in very few whopper lies in my life. I try not to lie to myself, I've known since I was 15 years old that alcohol was a problem for me. I never told myself it wasn't. I've ALWAYS been cognizant of my problem. I can't do 'The big plan' without it feeling like I could be telling myself a lie. I must live my life in the today, always. Maybe 'The big plan' is somewhere I could get in time with agressive pursuit of AVRT. I dunno.

As of now, I'm sticking with choosing not to drink, trying to live a good, honest, meaningful life, and the other things I've outlined above as my program.