I don't know what others think, but my hackles went up when I read below:
Originally Posted by
ImperfectlyMe 
He returned home Thursday to a different woman he left. I shared how happy I was to be alone. Told him we need therapy STAT or im leaving after the holidays. To which he said we need to go over your credit card statements. I don't spend anything !!!! in 60 days my transaction total was $142. HEs NOT HEARING ME!!!
I still love him and want to work on the marriage, but he says no to therapy, he actually suggested we use his mom as a therapist!!!!
I don't know if his opposition to therapy is that he doesn't feel like he wants or needs it, but I've seen this before in my own parents and it's part of a nasty denial thing (not saying that's your case...). Asking someone to enter therapy with you is asking them to take on their responsibility for making the relationship work. I get that there are generational things and stigmas attached to this for some people, and
I get that your alcohol issue makes it easy for him to dismiss any other things that are going on in the marriage, but it would sadden me to no end if the person I was committed to wouldn't be willing to work on it with me. I would have to express that to him somehow.
Your sobriety is your journey, and you are doing a very hard thing at maintaining it. (I never realized how hard it would be for me until I started it -only 15 days ago -and I am an emotional wreck right now.) You love this man - and while I guess its true that you train people how to respond to you, not acknowledging how you feel and the help you need is not helpful and supportive.