This usto happen to me quite a bit (getting upset about all of it and being short with my kids). I have found that I count to 10 before I say anything to my kids of seriousness. I think about what I say. If I am being short and grouchy around my kids, I am giving my AH even more power over us. I refuse to let that happen. I want to be the rock for my kids, to be the person they can always come to. If I make them walk on eggshells around me that is not going to happen.
You can do this! Don't let the situation have the power over your relationship w/your children. Keep posting, you are not alone in this!