Originally Posted by brazilian

Thanks, Dee, least and erics. (Legal seu Português, erics! Parabéns)

Back to day 1.

Now I have a plan. I WILL stay sober for 15 days. No weed or beer. That's because I need to study really hard (law school). I dream about beeing a judge someday (I'm 10 years far from it right now). But I could settle on a humbler job.

At this moment I dont have a job or career. So I need to focus. I'm 34 years old and married. No kids.

I'm still attached to the idea of smoking pot in a healthy way, once a week maybe. Sounds ridiculous? Probably. I dream about having a nice job, or not so nice, but a honest and well paying job. And then, on a Friday night, or Saturday, smoke ONE joint, drink like 2 or 3 beers and have some fun and relax. Is this asking too much? Or am I just deceiving myself?

Now I feel OK. Little anxious, as always. I was born anxious and tense. I know I will feel angry in a few hours (I am starting a low carb diet, really hard in the first weeks - I have a problem with food craving even without weed). So I'm trying to go light on coffee, too. All at once. But I feel powerful, I know I can do it, I did it before.

I just bought a Michael Sandel book, he's a Harvard teacher, very nice book. Little foggy right now, will begin study tomorrow. Won't be easy, I know. But thanks to God I am inteligent and capable. So capable that I could have became anything in life, but I managed to become nothing. This is sad. But I know I had my reasons, try not to be hard on myself and just pick up from here. "This is the first day of the rest of my life".

I'm grateful for my life, grateful for this great forum. Thanks, friends. Sorry for amateur english, I'm tryind hard here lol.