jakec

I hate feeling this way so much. I feel very irritable, restless, frustrated, and depressed today... I also feel like my body temperature just went up 100 degrees which isn't helping my irritability...it can't be withdrawl.. the last time I used was three days ago(75mg Oxycodone + Amphetamines) and that was the first time I touched an opiate or stimulant in over a month, using them once isn't enough to make me psyichally withdrawl.. maybe it's all in my head.. PAWS or something..

Maybe I should hop off the pity potty and do something about it. I know exactly where this is heading: I feel like crap, I do nothing about it, I think about using to take the pain away, I do nothing about it, I do nothing about it, and within 10 seconds I have everything planned out in my head(how im getting money, where im getting drugs from, how im taking them) and all bets are off at that point. So, I am challenging myself to do something different; pray - ask my higher power for some serenity and peace of mind; call someone - maybe talking about it over the phone will help... I mean whats the worst that can happen?

I'm not asking you guys for a solution to my problem, because when it comes down to it, I KNOW the solution it's just about having the willingness to actually do it.

And I know I have the desire to recover, regardless of what my disease/AV tells me.

I will update this tread in a little while and let you all know how everything goes.