I am livid at her.
you are livid at the person who was attempting to intervene on your behalf? perhaps her method was less than optimal, but she DID speak the TRUTH...you guys DO Fight, and he DID forget your BD. HE is the jackass here. he is using anger and isolation to try and further remove ANYONE from your life who cares and supports you.
your situation sounds just horrendous. i'm sorry i haven't read all your posts, but do you have a plan to extract yourself from the relationship and GET AWAY from this hostile angry man?