Originally Posted by EternalQ

In the beginning i don't think we owe anyone but ourselves... meaning our sobriety comes before anyone elses comfort. My whole life now hinges on my sobriety just as my life hinges on my physical health. I know it is so, and so no one else needs to understand it.

However now that I have some sober time I have recently started addressing others discomfort.... but only those close. The most close people I have always discussed it with. (They would ask: Would I prefer if they didn't drink? etc) but now I'm branching out a bit. for example last week with my brother and his wife... the restaurant had a long wait and so I said unsolicited: "You know, we can sit at the bar and eat. I don't have a problem with that at all."(Which is true now, but there was a time i wouldve minded.). So we did.

I said that to them because I could see them hesitating. But I didn't go on to explain anything further. I just want them to be comfortable with me not drinking as much as I am with them drinking. These people are very dear to me.

I guess what I'm saying is sobriety first, then the comfort and understanding of those who are most close, and then move out from there. But ALWAYS sobriety first. It is the only way. People have to adjust to OUR sobriety. We don't change our priority of sobriety for THEM.