advbike

Ha ha ha, me too! Thanks everyone, for all your advice - I appreciate it.

I know they're hurting from the loss of their son (he comitted suicide) so I'm trying to be sensitive, and I really care, and would like to see them, but not the way it was presented. I know it would be too difficult for me, but saying no is also *very* hard for me and I always feel that I'm going to disappoint people.

So what I've done is tell them the house isn't ready yet due to some delays I've had, which is true. And also that I'm not sure which place we will be having Christmas at, which is also now true. I didn't want to bring up my sobriety as an issue, since when I saw them at the memorial six months ago I wasn't drinking then either, and didn't want to explain my last relapse.

But I also told them I would love to see them, and if they are coming out I would get things arranged for their visit. I did that because I *would* like to see them, and they are wonderful people. I also know that if they do come under these circumstances they will volunteer to stay at a hotel or just stop by for a day or two. And I can handle that.

I also realized my bro was feeling really bad for them and made the offer in an emotional and well-meaning way, thinking we could all be together for the holidays and it would cheer them up. He just doesn't understand the stress and anxiety I go through at the holidays since he is very outgoing and rarely even drinks. Doesn't excuse his lack of consideration though, and I let him know he'd better ask me next time.