I'm sure everyone wishes they could tell you that the pain will go away and leave you happy again, unfortunately that's not an option. You have to take the past 4 months and see that you have survived. All the pain and loneliness that you have gone through, you're still here. Use that as your strength, use that as your reason for getting out of bed everyday. Try to fill your days surrounded by friends and family, surround yourself with things that make you happy, or even just keep you busy. He might be gone, but he will never be forgotten, he will always have a place in your heart and your mind. All that's left is for you to heal.