Tattoo, I'm sorry today has been such a struggle. I lost a daughter to an overdose and for the first year or two, I never knew what the day would bring...some days were easier than others. To me the feeling was like being relatively normal and all the sudden just feeling like I was punched really hard in the stomach. The grief just took my breath away.
I visualized the grieving process like a box. Sometimes I could take the pain out of the box and sit with it..process it a bit. But sometimes I just had to put it away...I could only take so much pain. Everyone has different ways of grieving...Just know that there is no right or wrong way - the way through it is to let yourself feel what you are feeling - be very gentle with yourself.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of my daughter and miss her, but time and grieving have softened those thoughts and now I can embrace the memories. I hope in time, you will be able to as well. Gentle hugs.