Here's an interesting piece of perspective. I'm an alcoholic new to boston AA. I've been with the same woman for 6 years. I entered recovery 2 years ago and have never stopped going because I do want to be sober. Nonetheless I have 48 hours sober and have relapsed, sometimes for as long as a month, at least 4 times. The woman I'm with is wonderful and when I'm sober, we're both great partners to one another. If the shoe were on the other foot, I don't know if I'd have made it as long as she has. I know I'd be going to alanon (she does and is sponsored). In fact, I doubt I would have stuck around. I'm grateful she has though.
I have no experience from your side of this situation. It seems as if you just want to stop others from judging you. Considering how you've described your feelings I can't blame you. However, that's a losing battle.
Perhaps the friends and family section is a better place to direct you question, since you are not new to your own recovery and you are really discussing someone else's? Hope it works out how it should for you.