Originally Posted by
Catherine628 
I wonder how truthful your husband was with the prescribing doctor regarding his drinking. Mixing alcohol and xanax can lead to increasing the effect of each substance significantly so it certainly could be the case that he didn't drink that much. I would see my AH almost comatose at times, other times incredibly paranoid, and other times irritable and violent. .
My XA lied like a rug. To his doctors, to me, to everyone. All to protect the addiction, and somehow not be forced to make what must seem a terrifying, painful decision to quit drinking once and for all.
My XA also mixed xanax, alcohol, topomax, wellbutrin, prozac, and anything else he could get for pain (vicodin, oxy). It's scary how these docs get snowed by the same charm and manipulation that we are susceptible to; except they are playing with life and death, and handing over substances to people who are clearly mentally ill.
Pi$$es me off, quite frankly. Docs need better education in this arena.
My XA's moods, health and behavior were wobbly on a good day, and when he threw that crazy chemical cocktail in there, things went from bad to worse. I got hurt several times, just trying to help him; sprained my ankle badly once assisting him from couch to bed. 6'2'' man, 190 lbs, dead weight, came crashing down. (He was not hurt.) What was I thinking?
All this to say, you are not alone Myfreedom, you are not crazy. You simply love/d a very sick man, and you kept/keep hoping that he will take the necessary steps to get better.
I agree with Catherine; a long term separation, during which more will be revealed but you don't have to languish in it with him, might be a good approach.