Jessicajoe, I'm not in a place to give any insight right now as I am in "take mode" with this board until I get stronger or in some kind of recovery, but I just wanted you to know I care, and am sending you a hug. Well, I do have something to say - I have this book that I bought years ago, before I realized my RH was an A and decided the reasons for his dysfunctions were everything else but that. It's called If It Hurts It Isn't Love by Chuck Spezzanno (sp) they are daily topics and passages and I remember getting a lot out of it. It helped me realize I wasn't crazy for feeling what I was feeling.