Okay, so you are miserable. What can you do? If you were miserable drinking and miserable not drinking, then it sounds like there is a YOU problem happening. Is there a certain something that you have always wanted to do that you now have the time to do? Pottery, Painting, learning to weld, mechanic stuff, or any other creative outlet that may be of interest? What about a gratitude list? There is a lot to be grateful for, and you have the power to turn this mind frame into something positive!
I know that you had blood work done and other tests. Have you had your thyroid checked?
Hang on and keep posting. Let it all out. Please know that you are not alone in your struggles. However, drinking will never be the answer to what is ailing you.