miyako,
Stopping drinking is not the key to being happy. What you choose to do with your life when you stop drinking is the key to being happy.
No AA related response here but I'm going to give it to you straight. I can do that because I have been in your position.
You already know why you haven't lost the weight.
1st. I figured that by this time I would have dropped most of the 55 pounds I needed to lose (that doesn't get me to thin or even AVERAGE weight, BTW) and at least be starting to date.
Reason: Part of the problem is that now that I don't drink I seem to be ravenous in the evening and often eat quite a lot.
You answered your own question. I'm right there with you. Never mind the beer calories I was taking in, the crap I cooked and ate (my husband named me The Drunken Gourmet) in calories on a weekend night was way over the top. I thought, ohhh, I quit drinking, this is just going to come right off! I exclaimed this about the same time I shoved a mint oreo cookie in my mouth (and the two or three after that). Along with the slice of carrot cake I would eat the next night with the cream cheese frosting. We can't kid ourselves, we know why the weight isn't coming off.
Next this:
I thought I might even have more money because drinking costs money. Lots of people who quit after years of addictive drinking say they have money once they are sober.
If you're not spending money on alcohol then it has to be going somewhere. Either that or your bills are getting paid now where they weren't previously. Sit down with a piece of paper and figure out what you spent on alcohol in a week. Now, think of the things that you buy in a week now. What are you buying now that you didn't previously? Or, are bills getting paid that used to sit and wait? There has to be an answer there.
I have the SAME LIFE sober that I did while I was drinking.
If this is true then you're living the exact same way that you did before but the only difference is now you're just not drinking. That's it, point blank.
No one knocks on the door and offers you a new life on a silver platter because you don't drink anymore. YOU have to make that happen.
What makes you happy? What can you do now that you couldn't do before because you were drinking? Those are key questions.
No one can do this for you, you have to do it. You'll be as happy as you make up your mind to be.
There, and I didn't even bring AA into it
