Jessicajoe-
All I can say is that for me, myself and I my past has played a big role.
It played a role in who I choose as a partner, why I thought certain things were okay, and why I stayed.
For me it has been about more then just past relationships, but actually as far back as my childhood (and I did not have a bad one). I just grew up with two people, both impacted by alcohol that though not struggling with alcohol addiction, both struggled in other ways. We were the perfect don't talk, don't feel, don't need or emote kind of situation.
I do best when I think about my relationship that got me here, not as I screwed up but as it was the opportunity for me to learn what I needed to and to HEAL my old stuff that I had not previously.
I truthfully am also terrified that if I don't give myself a chance to heal I am going to end up in a similar merry go round.
One piece I have learned from all of this (still working on it in relationships). I don't deserve just good enough, or "well at least he is not (fill in the blank)" I deserve relationships with people that cherish themselves enough to want to do the work involved.