Thank you ladies... I will continue to protect my kids and not worry about when he's drunk or not; I'll just do... If he notices and gives me an open door, I wil speak the truth of the matter. I'm just not going to worry another second about it, or at least try very hard not to, and be that single mom I already am and continue to strengthen me as an independent person. You know, this weekend I traveled 14 hours on my own to see my eldest son row. In the past I wouldn't have dared do such a thing on my own. I've visited the local community colleges before I left on my trip, too, looking into what I can do to increase possible job opportunites for myself should the need arise. And shoot, I may enter the workforce anyway just so I can start saving in my own personal account. It makes me feel like I'm leading a double life, so to speak, but alcoholism has driven me to think and behave differently than I every thought I would have to do. It is absolutely difficult reinventing ones self.