new start
Hi there, I am new to this site so please forgive me if I am fumbling.
the long and short of why I am here is that I have a younger brother, 22 and I am 25. We grew up in a country town, everybody knew everybody. Parents did fight a lot growing up and it did affect me as well but I never abused drugs or alcohol. my brother on the other hand , started using drugs at an early age. always allowed to do as he pleased and I was kept under lock and key.
he was ordered to go to rehab once when he was a senior in high school, and ordered one year probation..best year of his life. stayed sober for a while, and relapsed, then went back to rehab, moved in with me and my husband after we got married (our first night in our new home as a married couple, my brother was in the other room detoxing) went back home relapsed again.. got into trouble so I agreed to have him move in with me while my husband was deployed to help him get sober..not only dealing with my hubby being gone, being on a totally different side of the country, but also had to detox my brother yet again..very stressful for a 22 year old..i started having panic attacks.
he went back home after a few months with me and relapsed again...and again and again.. we were station near our home town in the south so we agreed to YET AGAIN let him move in with us but laid down very strict rules, he got a job saved money even helped us pay bills.. toward the end of being here a year things fell apart, he had found a dealer here and was driving my husband and I crazy.
Sent him back home to my family, relapsed again and countless times since.
We have offered help above and beyond, my grandmother is getting old and cannot deal with his addiction any longer. As of today she kicked him out and we have no idea where he is staying.
Thus why I am here, there have been countless struggles, all of the typical lieing,stealing,violent addict behavior and I can no longer deal with it alone. though my husband may love my brother like his own, he can not feel the pain inside my bones and soul that I feel when I see my brother in his addiction...any helpful advice on how to deal with all of this is greatly appreciated.
I have vowed that I will no longer let his addiction rule my life, I have my own life and I have to live it for me..no one else.
thanks again for taking the time to read this..
ending on a quote I found
"Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."