Old 11-04-2013, 07:26 PM
  # 297 (permalink)  
freshstart57
Self recovered Self discovered
 
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Good question, Zazzzz. I dunno if I am qualified or not to answer, but that has never held me back before, so here goes.

The question of morality is something that I used to lock the door on my ever drinking again. I came to view my drinking as immoral, in that it would be immoral for me to drink. I used my experience, and my history to create that association. Even though I did not get arrested for DUI, I most certainly could have been arrested simply because I drove my car while impaired on several occasions. That means that this is something I might do again if I were to drink, despite the illegality of it and the risk of jail time and shame.

Now, in early sobriety, I met a friend whose spouse and infant child were killed by a drunk driver who ran a stop sign. The carnage was horrific as three lives were ended in a moment, and a dozen lives were changed forever through the grief and loss that only a parent or spouse can understand.

I conflated my driving while intoxicated with this horrible tragedy, and used this connection to push any future drinking of mine over the limit of morality, past simple illegality. I refused to ever drink again because I might drive drunk again, and be directly responsible for a similar horror. I imagined this horror to be what my friend experienced, so that in some way I would become morally responsible for those deaths. This is how I made future drinking immoral for me.

I am not afraid of alcohol, but I am repulsed at the idea that I would ever consume it again. I have made it immoral for me to drink. I don't really care about other people's consumption, although DUIs can get me pretty angry.

Anyway, that's what I did.
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