thanks everyone, it does feel a bit like i have come home
It's a relief to finally leave this all behind. Sober christmas and sober holidays seem a bit daunting but i am going to take it one day at a time this time around. Last time i took one day at a time until moderation, i think i was only flirting with sobriety. This time i am going to ask it to marry me and live with me forever
I am going to speak to my husband tonight and tell him the true extent of why i am now choosing sobriety. I see it as freeing myself from prison, moderation is exhausting. And what i found was it took me less wine than it did before to get completely wasted. And my first blackout
I am considering writing it down as i think it may be easier to be completely honest and not cut corners, does this seem a bit of a wimps way out? He barely drinks from one year to the next and the least addictive personality of anyone i know so i dont know how well he'll understand the beast if you know what i mean.
Any advice?